I was contemplating man's place in the cosmic scheme of things today. I am not exactly sure how the realization that we are incredibly insignificant is a source of horror.
A nihilist must just be a jaded optomist.
All this spooky cosmic horror just means that in the long run the pyramids of Egypt are as culturally significant as the box of my 1st grade school work mom has stored in the attic.
The universe is vast, indifferent, and uncaring. Even something as massive as the sun has a limit. It is as significant as the black sock lint between my toes.
And yet, here we are, capable of conceiving love, compassion, unity and kindness.
Azathoth sits at the middle, vomiting out chaos and nonsense. I sit here trimming the plum trees, mowing the lawn, and trying to feed my kids and put them to bed on some sort of schedule. (Because apparently kids feel happiest when they have structure in their lives, which is to say that they reject the nonsense Azathoth spouts at an early age)
I understand how my smart phone works just as much as I understand the cosmos. Even though this device terrifies me, I still really enjoy playing with it.
So how the hell am I supposed to describe the Horrors an investigator feels when I tell him he looks at the night sky and feels small?
I think I might write a horror game about public speaking.
That is some freaky ****.
H.P. Lovecraft was afraid of immigrants and space. If I ran a game of Call of Cthulhu for Lovecraft.......
"You step outside. The sky above you stretches into infinity. Coming down the sidewalk you see a pair of men, obviously from a foreign country, conversing in a language you can not understand. Roll sanity.".
I don't know.
When I started writing this blog post I am pretty sure I had a point. I have no idea what that was now.
I suppose I could go back and re-read what I have written to figure it out.
If I don't even feel like reading this, I can imagine how you must feel.
I would totally give you a high-five if you wanted one though, if that makes you feel better!
I wonder how terrible my grammar is, and what that reveals about me.