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NMN : Assorted Failed Sanity Checks

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#1 Story

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Posted 01 March 2010 - 03:31 PM

In the spirit of the Samurai Sword thread : every wonder what specifically happens after someone fails a sanity check?

Not the ones that happen in front of some nameless horror at the moment of peak drama, but the 'morning after' sanity check.

'Gibbering' is such an expansive verb, you know...



Man arrested after shooting up hotel room in Albion, putting alarm clock in microwave and leaving note saying 'God delivered me from evil and placed me in Albion'
http://www.mlive.com...hooting_up.html


LONDON, Ont. - He's a world-class engineer who impressed with a long, impressive curriculum vitae.His defence lawyer had a stack of reference letters describing his volunteerism, intellectual achievements across North America and quiet nature.
*
Thompson had maintained a woman had come up behind him and grabbed his genitals while he was bent over looking at a shelf in a drug store at Masonville Place.

When he confronted her outside the store, he said he did not head butt her, but their heads did touch during their discussion.

But that was not what the victim, a 46-year-old mother, and two witnesses said happened. The victim said she had seen Thompson become agitated inside the store and then was confronted by him with the accusations. She was stunned. The head butt left her with a swollen nose and two bruised eyes.

http://www.torontosu...7/13050526.html


Police say 45-year-old Troy Reit was standing near Cleveland Avenue and exposing himself to passing cars. Someone drove by, saw him and called police. The officer who responded found Reit wearing nothing but a robe and boots, and when the officer approached him, Reit ran between the homes.

"There's some pretty deep snow there. So the officer wasn't able to chase him, but he went around to the other side. As he came around the other side, the man was now naked and holding his robe in his hand," Officer Sam Clemens said.

http://www.keloland....71.cfm?Id=96299[/b]




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#2 Story

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Posted 03 March 2010 - 03:41 PM

THIRTY minutes after a 25-year-old man had his throat slashed at a kebab shop late-night revellers continued to order food there, oblivious to the blood on the floor.
http://www.news.com....r-1225835402917

(NewsCore) - Police on Tuesday charged a man with forcefully tattooing a teenager's forehead during a serious assault near the Australian city of Wollongong, south of Sydney.
http://www.myfoxchic...0100303_6372370

Not so much a failed sanity check (or maybe it is and we'll never know), but something got to him before he could reach Hallowed Ground...

A 51-year-old man from Maidstone has died after being found injured at a church. *** Police are treating the death as "unexplained" and have launched an appeal for information.
http://www.kentonlin...ined_death.aspx

Odd that this happened right before Cyclone Cynthia hit
Blocked drains in the village of Aylesford on the River Medway caused a street to fill up with several inches of water.
http://www.express.c...n-killer-storm-

For all manner of weirdness in Kent, including this strangely eviscerated sheep last August, see
http://kentmonsters....ll-is-back.html

#3 Story

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Posted 04 March 2010 - 06:11 PM

A rhetorical question : at what point in the day does one say "I have a bunch of dead animal parts to get rid of - I know! I'll hide them in the rafters of the local car wash!"

Police are investigating after bags full of dead animals were discovered hanging from the rafters of a Menifee County car wash over the weekend.
http://www.lex18.com...ers-at-car-wash

Mind you, that was 15 grocery bags full of parts.
http://latimesblogs....ky-carwash.html


According to the 23-page ruling, Miles had been diagnosed in 1998 with "extreme paranoia." By 2005, his mental condition had worsened to a point where he wore a metal pot on his head for fear that a listening device had been implanted in his tooth and could be used to drag him through the roof with an electromagnet.

When he killed his stepmother, he not only beheaded her after striking her in the head with a hatchet, Messerich wrote, but then also put the head in a dishwasher. He had thought the head could be reattached, authorities say, and expressed surprise later that his stepmother had died.
http://www.startribu...iD3aPc:_Yyc:aUU

Applicable-


#4 Story

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Posted 05 March 2010 - 03:01 PM

ARLINGTON, Va. (WUSA) - Two Pentagon police officers have been released from the hospital following a shoot-out at the busy Metro station entrance to the Pentagon around 6:40pm Thursday.
*
The suspect, 36-year-old John Patrick Bedell, died at the hospital.
At a press conference Friday, officials said Bedell appears to have acted alone. He was well-dressed in a suit when he walked calmly up to the officers, armed with 2-9mm semi-automatic handguns and several magazines filled with ammunition.
Officials say it appears he drove from California to DC.
*
The Associated Press reports there are internet postings suggesting the suspected gunman harbored resentment for the U.S. military and had doubts about the 9/11 attacks. In an internet posting under the screen name "JPatrickBedell," he wrote he was determined to see justice for the 1991 death of a Marine in California. The death was ruled a suicide. The writer said the case would be a step toward revealing the truth behind the September 11th terrorist attacks.
http://www.wusa9.com...98041&catid=158

See also
http://news.lalate.c...edell-facebook/
and
http://tekgnosis.typ...dia-poster.html

#5 eyeharvester

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Posted 09 March 2010 - 03:43 PM

A rhetorical question : at what point in the day does one say "I have a bunch of dead animal parts to get rid of - I know! I'll hide them in the rafters of the local car wash!"


See, now, for me that's normally around 10 AM, at which point I'm awake enough that the enormity of what I've done has hit me, but not quite awake enough to begin forming sensible plans involving seeing if any of the other cultists are hungry. :P
"The Universe has no obligation to be reassuring."
--Anders Sandberg

#6 Story

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Posted 09 March 2010 - 10:28 PM

Groton — Town police have charged a man with murder in connection with the death of a woman whose body was found in a freezer inside a house at 1184 Gold Star Highway.

Luis. F. Otero, 49, who listed his address as the same house on Gold Star Highway, was charged with one count of murder and is being held on $2 million bond, according to police at a 3 p.m. press conference.

Police have said that at about 10:20 Sunday night, a man came in to the Groton City Police Department lobby and reported an "unusual incident" in Groton Town. Police would not say today whether the man was Otero. 8O

http://www.theday.co...309741/1070/nws

#7 Story

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Posted 10 March 2010 - 04:58 AM

A window cleaner died after stabbing himself in the groin 8O repeatedly with a jumbo souvenir pencil, an inquest heard.

Jeffrey Burton’s family and friends were baffled by his bizarre death, which was recorded as an open verdict because there was no evidence he was trying to commit suicide.

http://www.mirror.co...15875-22088838/

#8 synthboy

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Posted 10 March 2010 - 10:01 AM

This collection of oddness reads like the opening thirty minutes of a new conspiracy tv show although I'm not sure the poor window cleaner would get past the censors. Utterly bewildering.

#9 Story

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Posted 10 March 2010 - 02:30 PM

Utterly bewildering.


Don't worry, there's more.

There'll always be... more.

(Reuters) - Cyprus said Tuesday ransom was the motive of thieves who stole the body of former President Tassos Papadopoulos, found in a shallow grave Monday three months after it disappeared from its tomb.
http://www.reuters.c...&rpc=22&sp=true

Rhyming news : Lone Wolverine found 600 miles from where it should logically be, photographed humping tree.
http://www.sfgate.co.../MNPJ1CATHU.DTL

MIDDLETOWN — A notorious killer from Litchfield County may be going back to jail after attempting to sign himself out of a Middletown mental health hospital which violates the terms of his probation.

Paul Graziani, 55, spent most of his adult life behind bars for violent crimes since 1971, including setting fire to a church and businesses in Litchfield, killing his father, exploding a pipe bomb at a Torrington home and using a Molotov cocktail to set fire to a truck.
http://www.registerc...a4490161167.txt

Next time....

#10 Story

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Posted 10 March 2010 - 11:32 PM

http://www.dispatch....nt.html?sid=101

A West Side man sentenced to life in prison today refused to look at the brother of the woman he killed and dismembered. Robert A. Knight, 51, bludgeoned his girlfriend Tracey F. Moore to death, then cut off her head and limbs in a gruesome crime discovered by a maintenance man in June. Columbus police found parts of her body in 1) Knight's freezer, 2) a toilet*, 3) a pond and 4) a trash bin and 5) in the woods next to the West Bay apartment complex near I-270 and Georgesville Road.

Perfect for a FAMILY CIRCUS parody cartoon.
http://cartophilia.c...hpuncountry.jpg

* According to other sources, he backed up the toilet with the.. parts.

And you thought House of a 1,000 Corpses was just a movie?

http://www.google.co...-6-FXwD9E8CL700
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Bizarre allegations of rape, incest and bestiality in western Missouri led to the arrests of six family members last fall and unleashed public scorn over the unthinkable acts they are accused of committing two decades ago.

Another house of horrors, but hey - he's got totally logical reasoning!

http://hosted.ap.org...LTAM&SECTION=US

PATERSON, N.J. (AP) -- A New Jersey man with apocalyptic visions is accused of years of terrorizing his family, raping his five daughters and impregnating three, beating his children with wooden boards and even moving at one point to avoid child welfare investigators.

At a hearing last week, the 51-year-old man's former wife described in a calm voice her marriage to a man whose visions she said drove him to try to create "pure" family bloodlines by impregnating several of his teenager daughters.
"He said the world was going to end and it was just going to be him and his offspring and that he was chosen," the woman testified.

#11 Story

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Posted 13 March 2010 - 04:25 AM

The 68-year-old grandfather accused of punching children in a Northwest Side Walmart appeared in Franklin County Municipal Court this morning.
*
Conone told police he would put his keys between his fingers 8O and strike the children when their parents weren't looking. He said he'd been doing it since January because he liked the excitement of getting away with it. 8O 8O

http://www.dispatch....ys.html?sid=101


BARTOW, Fla. (AP) -- Authorities say a 55-year-old woman died alone in a bedroom of her central Florida home after locking herself in the room for several weeks for a lengthy religious fast.*
http://hosted.ap.org...LTAM&SECTION=US

Police cover-story for : something consumed her from the inside-out and we don't know how else to explain it...


A 50-year-old man flipped out and killed his girlfriend and two other men after walking in on them having a threesome at her Brooklyn apartment, police said. 8O Hours later, the jilted lover admitted to cops he was so furious that he carved up the two mens’ bodies and dumped them somewhere in New Jersey. 8O 8O

http://www.nypost.co...L#ixzz0i6IwujBp

#12 Story

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Posted 14 March 2010 - 04:51 PM

SEATTLE (AP) -- A man wearing what appeared to be a pipe bomb was kicked out of a Seattle homeless shelter Friday morning after claiming to be a vampire, then wandered around before surrendering to police, authorities and witnesses said. * Employees at a nearby men's shelter alerted police after the man walked into the shelter, said he was a vampire and wanted to eat people, a police report said. After the staff refused to serve him and asked him to leave, the man said he was a space cowboy and showed the staff what appeared to be a pipe bomb taped to his wrist. He then threatened to blow up the building, according to police.

http://hosted.ap.org...LTAM&SECTION=US

Suicidal * Space * Cowboy * Vampire. I think I saw him in concert. Once.

Branch from the Last Tree In The Universe, *not* legal tender.
http://www.koco.com/...083/detail.html


****
Spring Hill, Florida - Hernando County Sheriff's deputies arrested a man who allegedly threatened his father with a pair of bone-cutting scissors on Tuesday.
http://www.wtsp.com/...127324&catid=58
Great photo, too.

#13 Story

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Posted 16 March 2010 - 06:39 PM

According to the District Attorney’s Office, on Aug. 1, 2008, Tuttle entered the Main Street Market and, without provocation, stabbed a clerk in the side with a kitchen knife before fleeing. The clerk was treated for a 4-inch gash. 8O Redwood City police tracked Tuttle to his mother’s South San Francisco home where they reported finding him in the midst of shaving his head. 8O 8O Tuttle’s mother admitted driving her son to Redwood City that day but said she knew nothing of the stabbing at the market. She also said her son’s excessive drug use may have caused ongoing mental issues, 8O 8O 8O according to the District Attorney’s Office.
http://www.smdailyjo...claims insanity

MANILA, Philippines – Members of the Manila Police District (MPD) had the surprise of their lives on Friday when a bullet-riddled man whom policemen thought they had shot dead in a shootout sprang back to life early morning in Manila.
http://newsinfo.inqu...ef-resurrection

*

http://www.myfoxny.c...ty-20100317-akd

*
When Leprechauns go bad. Probably failed to mention that he was only 4' 5".
http://hosted.ap.org...LTAM&SECTION=US


Photo of suspect http://pages.prodigy...leprechaun4.jpg
[/code]

#14 Story

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Posted 19 March 2010 - 04:46 PM

Cops: Nude man arrested in cemetery
http://www.timesunio...?storyID=913076

A Quakertown man has been receiving a mental evaluation since he drove his car into shrubs outside the Quakertown police station and set fire to the vehicle, police said.
http://www.mcall.com...0,2106420.story

#15 Story

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Posted 20 March 2010 - 10:17 PM

Dracula Wannabe Wanted For Biting NYC Cabbie
http://wcbstv.com/lo....2.1574972.html
NYPD Searching For Blood-Thirsty Robbery Suspect Who Repeatedly Gouged Driver All Over During Attempted Heist

*

Forest Lake police used a Taser to subdue a delusional nude man in the median of Interstate 35 Thursday evening after he allegedly jumped on passing cars and claimed he was God and the devil.
http://www.startribu...D3aPc:_Yyc:aUUr

*
DALLAS - A naked man danced atop a billboard on Highway 183 on Friday afternoon, sparking a rescue and causing traffic delays in the busy area.
http://www.myfoxdfw....n-183-Billboard


*
(Reuters) - An investigation has begun at one of Britain's most prestigious private schools after a member of staff was arrested on suspicion of trying to poison the pupils' soup.
http://www.reuters.c...&rpc=22&sp=true

#16 Story

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Posted 22 March 2010 - 03:26 AM

Cyprus police have arrested a Romanian man suspected of vandalising the tombs of three archbishops in a cemetery in the capital city of Nicosia.
http://news.bbc.co.u...ope/8578760.stm

*

An encounter on the roadways in Placer County led to the shooting deaths of two people in what police believe to be a murder-suicide. Investigators said two drivers became aggravated which each other while driving in southern El Dorado County, eventually leading to the crash of both cars through a fence just outside Placerville.
http://cbs13.com/loc....2.1579262.html

*
MOLALLA -- A man who yelled at a speeding motorist to slow down was beaten by the driver after he skidded to a stop. .. Allen told police the motorist skidded some distance and fishtailed to a stop. The driver then backed up and confronted Allen, who was standing next to a ditch along the road. The driver asked Allen if he was armed. 8O Allen said no :roll: ** and the man started hitting him. Allen fell ino the ditch, badly hurting his knee.

** Applicable : When someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!

*
A naked man has become famous in China after he stopped traffic on a busy road, then tried to lift a taxi by himself while shouting 'give me strength'.
Photo of naked taxi-lifter here
http://www.metro.co....fting-adventure

*

A man who didn't like a waxy buildup on his car took out his frustration on the man who washed and waxed his car, allegedly hitting the victim in the back and head with a hammer

http://host.madison....1cc4c03286.html

#17 Story

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Posted 23 March 2010 - 05:40 PM

A jumbo jet pilot has told how he repeatedly had overwhelming urges to crash the planes he was flying.

Bryan Griffin said that once he even had to 'immobilise' his arm to prevent him trying to down a Qantas passenger jet.

His hand had 'involuntarily moved towards the start levers' on the journey to Singapore.

Read more: http://www.dailymail...l#ixzz0j1CpoL5Q

WOODBRIDGE, Va. (AP) -- The drivers of a Jaguar and a dump truck face charges after a road range duel on a Virginia interstate that included shots fired by the driver of the luxury car.

http://hosted.ap.org...LTAM&SECTION=US


An 81-year-old Queens woman tried to kill Latin-jazz great Eddie Palmieri's wife, shooting her in a dispute fueled by jealousy, noise complaints and ethnic tensions, authorities said.

Read more: http://www.nydailyne...l#ixzz0jCakO6KK
and
http://www.myfoxny.c...oting-in-queens


HAMILTON, Ohio -- The woman who told investigators she shot and killed her landlord because the movie "The Matrix" made her do it,8O was granted some freedom Wednesday.

Tonda Ansley has spent eight years in a mental health facility after being found not guilty by reason of insanity in the murder of a Miami University professor, Sherry Corbett.

#18 Story

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Posted 28 March 2010 - 02:52 AM

EDINBURGH, Ind. -- A knife-wielding man was arrested earlier this week in what police called a meat massacre at a south-central Indiana supermarket.
*
Coffman told police that he is a vegetarian and gets upset when others consume beef, telling the employee that God sent him to ruin the meat and that he was trying to save little girls from food he believes would make them “chubby.”

http://www.theindych...130/detail.html

LAS CRUCES - A military intelligence analyst is facing charges after police say he shot his sister in the head with a .40 caliber handgun just before 2 a.m. Saturday.
*
Zikmanis is employed as a geospatial analyst by the Department of Defense's National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency, the agency's public affairs office confirmed Saturday evening. The agency, which made headlines last year for its work using satellite imagery to track smuggling activities along the Mexican border, is a tenant at White Sands Missile Range, said WSMR Public Affairs Chief Monte Marlin.

http://www.lcsun-news.com/ci_14772543

#19 riotopsys

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Posted 28 March 2010 - 01:02 PM

US man 'tried to revive dead opossum' in Pennsylvania

http://news.bbc.co.u...cas/8591303.stm

#20 Story

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Posted 29 March 2010 - 11:38 PM

The landlord of a Norfolk pub five miles from royal residence Sandringham House has been arrested after the body of a woman, believed to be his fiancé, was found in the freezer in a pub outhouse.

Mike Tucker, 49, and Becky Thorpe, 29, had run the 18th-century Compasses Inn in Snettisham since Easter Sunday last year, and became engaged in September. Thorpe had not been seen for a week before the frozen body – which will will not be formally identified until early this week – was discovered by an employee last Tuesday lunchtime.

http://www.todayinst...code-violation/


FREDERICK, Md. (AP) — A man who tossed a stranger's Chihuahua off a bridge in a fit of anger faces up to more than four years in prison after pleading guilty Monday to aggravated animal cruelty and theft.
http://hosted2.ap.or...2a1af2193d0b9a4


CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) -- Police on Tuesday said a North Carolina father sent his daughter to school for two weeks with a dire warning: Tell anyone about your two dead siblings at home, and I'll kill you and your brother, too.
http://hosted.ap.org...LTAM&SECTION=US





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